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locked_script [2016/09/12 16:07] – adds graphics new material throughout Carlos Pedraza | locked_script [2018/03/05 22:52] (current) – adds link to sporking Carlos Pedraza | ||
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// | // | ||
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- | <wrap lo>By Jody Wheeler \\ | + | <wrap lo> |
**AxaMonitor** contributor \\ | **AxaMonitor** contributor \\ | ||
September 12, 2016</ | September 12, 2016</ | ||
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- | A heavy revision of the 2014 script by Peters and former director Christian Gossett, this newer version by Peters and novelist Bill Hunt addresses the earlier script’s problems of hollow characters, uninspired dialogue, and weak plotting by pulling focus away from [[mema> | + | <wrap lo>//See also: [[axanar_sporking|Meet the Daily Blogger Critiquing Leaked ' |
- | And by adding a 30 page-long final space battle in the last act. (But more of that in a minute.) | + | A heavy revision of the 2014 script |
+ | And by adding a 30 page-long final space battle in the last act. (But more of that in a minute.) | ||
==== ‘Not Terrible’ ==== | ==== ‘Not Terrible’ ==== | ||
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Yes, this is still ostensibly Garth’s story of his victory at the [[mema> | Yes, this is still ostensibly Garth’s story of his victory at the [[mema> | ||
- | That would be a pretty fantastic rewrite of the piece, but for the fact Kharn gets less screen time than Garth. The film keeps telling | + | That would be a pretty fantastic rewrite of the piece, but for the fact Kharn gets less screen time than Garth. The film keeps telling |
- | ==== ‘Two Opponents, Small Potatoes’ ==== | + | ==== ‘Great Opponents, Small Potatoes’ ==== |
While Kharn and Garth — presented as two great opponents — do interact, it’s small potatoes. If you expect something like //The Wrath of Khan//' | While Kharn and Garth — presented as two great opponents — do interact, it’s small potatoes. If you expect something like //The Wrath of Khan//' | ||
- | Kharn is challenged more by his lieutenant, Chang, than he is by Garth. Instead of two near-perfectly matched leaders fighting with greater assets for higher stakes, Kharn is mostly sidelined so Garth can destroy the enemy-of-the-scene, | + | Kharn is challenged more by his lieutenant, Chang, than he is by Garth. Instead of two near-perfectly matched leaders fighting with greater assets for higher stakes, Kharn is mostly sidelined so Garth can destroy the enemy-of-the-scene, |
[{{ :: | [{{ :: | ||
- | **WHAT DOES** happen in this new script are expanded beats for characters introduced in //Prelude to Axanar//, like Sonya Alexander, Frank Travis and Admiral Ramirez. (Slightly surprising, as Tony Todd, he actor identified with that role, left the production and there were no reported plans to recast.) [// | + | **WHAT DOES** happen in this new script are expanded beats for characters introduced in //Prelude to Axanar//, like Sonya Alexander, Frank Travis and Admiral Ramirez. (Slightly surprising, as Tony Todd, the actor identified with that role, left the production and there were no reported plans to recast.) [// |
While still essentially extended cameos for fan favorite actors Kate Vernon and J.G. Hertzler, these characters now have a bit more to do than before, including a pretty funny interrogation bit for Vernon’s Captain Alexander. That said, these as well as the other new “cameo captains” — one each Vulcan, Tellarite and Andorian — are still essentially interchangeable Starfleet figureheads, | While still essentially extended cameos for fan favorite actors Kate Vernon and J.G. Hertzler, these characters now have a bit more to do than before, including a pretty funny interrogation bit for Vernon’s Captain Alexander. That said, these as well as the other new “cameo captains” — one each Vulcan, Tellarite and Andorian — are still essentially interchangeable Starfleet figureheads, | ||
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Two last notes to wrap this up. Part of that expanded page count comes from inserting a great deal more dialogue into the story. Long and extended bouts of dialogue, filled more with " | Two last notes to wrap this up. Part of that expanded page count comes from inserting a great deal more dialogue into the story. Long and extended bouts of dialogue, filled more with " | ||
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+ | /* [{{ :: | ||
That type of scene recurs throughout the script, enacted by Klingons, Federation, Vulcans — you name it. In many cases, it’s even expanded with Trek-talk technobable, | That type of scene recurs throughout the script, enacted by Klingons, Federation, Vulcans — you name it. In many cases, it’s even expanded with Trek-talk technobable, | ||
+ | |||
+ | As far as dialogue in that and other scenes goes, if you think, “Deceit upon deception. Perhaps the humans are worthy adversaries, | ||
**WHICH BRINGS** us to the last bit. The long final act is a putatively climactic space battle between everyone — thirty pages of it. That translates to roughly 30 on-screen minutes of space battle. Thirty minutes of wave after wave of starships bashing, blowing and bowling through each other. Thirty minutes of decoy drones, shuttle-interceptors, | **WHICH BRINGS** us to the last bit. The long final act is a putatively climactic space battle between everyone — thirty pages of it. That translates to roughly 30 on-screen minutes of space battle. Thirty minutes of wave after wave of starships bashing, blowing and bowling through each other. Thirty minutes of decoy drones, shuttle-interceptors, | ||
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Each side has its own moment of a “surprise” fleet dropping out of warp to join the battle. The Enterprise (still) shows up to get her licks in. Don’t just imagine typical // | Each side has its own moment of a “surprise” fleet dropping out of warp to join the battle. The Enterprise (still) shows up to get her licks in. Don’t just imagine typical // | ||
- | Scripts are blueprints for a movie. What's in the script is what’ll appear on the screen. What’s in this script is okay, though it has still far too many problems for my tastes. For yours? Without reading the script, is there any way to know what the final movie might be like? Actually, I think there is. Two minutes of //Axanar// exist, minutes pulled from this script. A brief but telling example of the dialogue, storytelling style, pacing, effects, even director choices — the [[Vulcan Scene]]. | + | Scripts are blueprints for movies. What's in the script is what’ll appear on the screen. What’s in this script is okay, though it has still far too many problems for my tastes. For yours? Without reading the script, is there any way to know what the final movie might be like? Actually, I think there is. Two minutes of //Axanar// exist, minutes pulled from this script. A brief but telling example of the dialogue, storytelling style, pacing, effects, even director choices — the [[Vulcan Scene]]. |
==== Watch ==== | ==== Watch ==== | ||
- | <WRAP box 475px> | + | < |
{{youtube> | {{youtube> | ||
<wrap lo> | <wrap lo> | ||
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Alongside the ship battles from the preview trailers, for the most part, it’s all right there. If you’ve seen // | Alongside the ship battles from the preview trailers, for the most part, it’s all right there. If you’ve seen // | ||
- | Given that the final film is incredibly unlikely to ever be made, that’s the closest anyone will ever get to seeing Axanar. {{: | + | Given that the final film is incredibly unlikely to ever be made, that’s the closest anyone will ever get to seeing |
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**Keywords** {{tag> | **Keywords** {{tag> |