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locked_script [2016/09/12 21:02] – [‘Two Opponents, Small Potatoes’] headline edit Carlos Pedrazalocked_script [2018/03/05 22:52] (current) – adds link to sporking Carlos Pedraza
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-<WRAP box> 
 {{::arcanis-rubble-prelude.jpg|}} {{::arcanis-rubble-prelude.jpg|}}
 <wrap lo>**REDUCED TO RUBBLE** Klingon disruptors cut through a Federation colony, sparking the war that would've been depicted in //Axanar//. (//Photo/Prelude to Axanar, Axanar Productions//)</wrap> <wrap lo>**REDUCED TO RUBBLE** Klingon disruptors cut through a Federation colony, sparking the war that would've been depicted in //Axanar//. (//Photo/Prelude to Axanar, Axanar Productions//)</wrap>
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 ====== The 'Locked' Axanar Screenplay: A Review ====== ====== The 'Locked' Axanar Screenplay: A Review ======
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 [{{::kharn-headshot.jpg |**LESS GARTH** Revisions in 2015's "final" //Axanar// script portrayed Klingon commander Kharn (Richard Hatch) as the character driving the story forward.}}] [{{::kharn-headshot.jpg |**LESS GARTH** Revisions in 2015's "final" //Axanar// script portrayed Klingon commander Kharn (Richard Hatch) as the character driving the story forward.}}]
 +
 +<wrap lo>//See also: [[axanar_sporking|Meet the Daily Blogger Critiquing Leaked 'Axanar' Script]]//</wrap>
  
 A heavy revision of the 2014 script by Peters and former director Christian Gossett, this newer version by Peters and film writer/commercial video producer [[imdb>name/nm7469629/|Bill Hunt]] addresses the earlier script’s problems of hollow characters, uninspired dialogue, and weak plotting by pulling focus away from [[mema>Garth of Izar]], giving more lines and scenes to other characters, and creating the only real emotional conflict in the story between the antagonist, the Klingon Kharn the Undying, and his lieutenant, Chang. A heavy revision of the 2014 script by Peters and former director Christian Gossett, this newer version by Peters and film writer/commercial video producer [[imdb>name/nm7469629/|Bill Hunt]] addresses the earlier script’s problems of hollow characters, uninspired dialogue, and weak plotting by pulling focus away from [[mema>Garth of Izar]], giving more lines and scenes to other characters, and creating the only real emotional conflict in the story between the antagonist, the Klingon Kharn the Undying, and his lieutenant, Chang.
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 Yes, this is still ostensibly Garth’s story of his victory at the [[mema>Battle of Axanar]]. But it’s not Garth’s story of how he won at Axanar. It’s Kharn’s story of how he loses. He’s the only character in the entire movie who really changes over the course of the movie. His choices drive the story forward. It’s on his head that that the fate of the galaxy rests when a final action is required.  Yes, this is still ostensibly Garth’s story of his victory at the [[mema>Battle of Axanar]]. But it’s not Garth’s story of how he won at Axanar. It’s Kharn’s story of how he loses. He’s the only character in the entire movie who really changes over the course of the movie. His choices drive the story forward. It’s on his head that that the fate of the galaxy rests when a final action is required. 
  
-That would be a pretty fantastic rewrite of the piece, but for the fact Kharn gets less screen time than Garth. The film keeps telling your Garth is driving this story — but depicts Kharn making all the choices that move the plot towards its conclusion. Kharn acts. Garth reacts.+That would be a pretty fantastic rewrite of the piece, but for the fact Kharn gets less screen time than Garth. The film keeps telling you Garth is driving this story — but depicts Kharn making all the choices that move the plot towards its conclusion. Kharn acts. Garth reacts.
  
 ==== ‘Great Opponents, Small Potatoes’ ==== ==== ‘Great Opponents, Small Potatoes’ ====
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 While Kharn and Garth — presented as two great opponents — do interact, it’s small potatoes. If you expect something like //The Wrath of Khan//'s Khan or //Nemesis//' Shinzon with their constant face-offs, traps, verbal sparring, action and counteraction, hero and villain vexing each other, that’s not really the case here. (Nor, for that matter, in the earlier-ready-to-shoot script.) While Kharn and Garth — presented as two great opponents — do interact, it’s small potatoes. If you expect something like //The Wrath of Khan//'s Khan or //Nemesis//' Shinzon with their constant face-offs, traps, verbal sparring, action and counteraction, hero and villain vexing each other, that’s not really the case here. (Nor, for that matter, in the earlier-ready-to-shoot script.)
  
-Kharn is challenged more by his lieutenant, Chang, than he is by Garth. Instead of two near-perfectly matched leaders fighting with greater assets for higher stakes, Kharn is mostly sidelined so Garth can destroy the enemy-of-the-scene, with Kharn not even remotely manipulating events. “He tasks me. He tasks me, and I shall have him!” does not happen in any way, at any time, in this script. +Kharn is challenged more by his lieutenant, Chang, than he is by Garth. Instead of two near-perfectly matched leaders fighting with greater assets for higher stakes, Kharn is mostly sidelined so Garth can destroy the enemy-of-the-scene, with Kharn not even remotely manipulating events. “He tasks me. He tasks me, and I shall have him!”((A line spoken by Khan in Star Trek II, based on phrasing used by Captain Ahab in "Moby Dick.")) does not happen in any way, at any time, in this script. 
  
 [{{ ::sonya-alexander-kate-vernon.jpg|**CAMEO CAPTAINS** Kate Vernon's character, Sonya Alexander, is one of several from //Prelude to Axanar// who make brief appearances in the August 2015 //Axanar// script.}}] [{{ ::sonya-alexander-kate-vernon.jpg|**CAMEO CAPTAINS** Kate Vernon's character, Sonya Alexander, is one of several from //Prelude to Axanar// who make brief appearances in the August 2015 //Axanar// script.}}]
  
-**WHAT DOES** happen in this new script are expanded beats for characters introduced in //Prelude to Axanar//, like Sonya Alexander, Frank Travis and Admiral Ramirez. (Slightly surprising, as Tony Todd, he actor identified with that role, left the production and there were no reported plans to recast.) [//Editor's note: Todd was still attached to //Axanar// at the time this script was drafted; [[tony_todd|he departed]] a couple weeks later.//]+**WHAT DOES** happen in this new script are expanded beats for characters introduced in //Prelude to Axanar//, like Sonya Alexander, Frank Travis and Admiral Ramirez. (Slightly surprising, as Tony Todd, the actor identified with that role, left the production and there were no reported plans to recast.) [//Editor's note: Todd was still attached to //Axanar// at the time this script was drafted; [[tony_todd|he departed]] a couple weeks later.//]
  
 While still essentially extended cameos for fan favorite actors Kate Vernon and J.G. Hertzler, these characters now have a bit more to do than before, including a pretty funny interrogation bit for Vernon’s Captain Alexander. That said, these  as well as the other new “cameo captains” — one each Vulcan, Tellarite and Andorian — are still essentially interchangeable Starfleet figureheads, all doing the same thing in the story: Providing a familiar face to cut to when orders are issued. A bit of a waste, really. While still essentially extended cameos for fan favorite actors Kate Vernon and J.G. Hertzler, these characters now have a bit more to do than before, including a pretty funny interrogation bit for Vernon’s Captain Alexander. That said, these  as well as the other new “cameo captains” — one each Vulcan, Tellarite and Andorian — are still essentially interchangeable Starfleet figureheads, all doing the same thing in the story: Providing a familiar face to cut to when orders are issued. A bit of a waste, really.
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 Each side has its own moment of a “surprise” fleet dropping out of warp to join the battle. The Enterprise (still) shows up to get her licks in. Don’t just imagine typical //pew-pew!// space battle porn, though. Think bang-bang space battle orgy porn. It’s J.J. Abrams-style scenes on steroids. While I’m quite certain those effects excellently depict that final battle, there’s ultimately not much to it other than a lot of explosions. Each side has its own moment of a “surprise” fleet dropping out of warp to join the battle. The Enterprise (still) shows up to get her licks in. Don’t just imagine typical //pew-pew!// space battle porn, though. Think bang-bang space battle orgy porn. It’s J.J. Abrams-style scenes on steroids. While I’m quite certain those effects excellently depict that final battle, there’s ultimately not much to it other than a lot of explosions.
  
-Scripts are blueprints for a movie. What's in the script is what’ll appear on the screen. What’s in this script is okay, though it has still far too many problems for my tastes. For yours? Without reading the script, is there any way to know what the final movie might be like? Actually, I think there is. Two minutes of //Axanar// exist, minutes pulled from this script. A brief but telling example of the dialogue, storytelling style, pacing, effects, even director choices — the [[Vulcan Scene]].+Scripts are blueprints for movies. What's in the script is what’ll appear on the screen. What’s in this script is okay, though it has still far too many problems for my tastes. For yours? Without reading the script, is there any way to know what the final movie might be like? Actually, I think there is. Two minutes of //Axanar// exist, minutes pulled from this script. A brief but telling example of the dialogue, storytelling style, pacing, effects, even director choices — the [[Vulcan Scene]].
  
 ==== Watch ==== ==== Watch ====
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 Alongside the ship battles from the preview trailers, for the most part, it’s all right there. If you’ve seen //Axanar//’s Vulcan Scene, you’ve seen the movie in truncated form. How you feel about the scene is most likely how you’d have felt about the final flick. Alongside the ship battles from the preview trailers, for the most part, it’s all right there. If you’ve seen //Axanar//’s Vulcan Scene, you’ve seen the movie in truncated form. How you feel about the scene is most likely how you’d have felt about the final flick.
  
-Given that the final film is incredibly unlikely to ever be made, that’s the closest anyone will ever get to seeing Axanar. {{:axamonitor-ico.gif?nolink|}}+Given that the final film is incredibly unlikely to ever be made, that’s the closest anyone will ever get to seeing //Axanar//. {{:axamonitor-ico.gif?nolink|}}
  
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 **Keywords** {{tag>Axanar lawsuit}} **Keywords** {{tag>Axanar lawsuit}}